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No Regrets

Before I begin, I want to admit that I am blogging this from the front seat of my car, sitting in the driveway while Grey naps in his car seat. As an honest mother, I am telling you never to risk waking a sleeping baby. This may be the only quiet time I get today, so I’ll take it. New moms – start keeping your Kindle or your iPad in the car – or just close your eyes for a few minutes and catch some sleep. We won’t judge you. 

Moving on…

 I’d love to say that I don’t feel as though I owe anyone an explanation as to why I chose to leave my job, but sometimes I feel like I do. I know that there are a lot of people who would think I am crazy for leaving a great job, especially in this economy. Some people can’t understand why someone would actually choose to be at home with an infant all day. (On the other hand, there are people who think being at home with a child is a vacation… which is insane. More on them later.) I used to be one of those people, who laughed at a friend as she told me she definitely wanted to stay home with her future children. I really thought the stay-at-home mom thing was extinct. I thought that it was important for moms to have a career, not give up their dreams in order to be a mother, and that it was easy to have it all. Then Grey was born… Not only is it almost impossible to do it all, it’s difficult to do ANYTHING when you have a newborn! Everything, down to having time to pee, eat and sleep, is challenging. Expecting parents – get used to eating microwaved meals, taking 30 second showers, and going to the bathroom while the baby stares as you from the bouncy seat set outside the door. Can you imagine trying to manage all of this while working 50 hours a week? 

So for those of you who still don’t understand why I did it, here is a little bit of an explanation.

After a short time back at work (like three days), I knew that this situation was not going to work for me. As the center director of a childcare center, I was the sole person responsible for 180 children and a staff of thirty teachers. My job was very demanding and included managing the classrooms, securing enrollment, handling parent concerns, and other business operations like scheduling and payroll. In addition, I was expected to spend time in the community as a way to promote the center during the evening or on weekends. It was ironic really – I was spending so much time in a place that cares for people’s children, but I felt like I was missing out on raising my own child. One evening, while walking with my husband and the baby in the stroller, I began to plant the seed that I was considering leave my job. It didn’t take long – in about a month my husband finally gave in, realizing that what’s best for Greyson and my happiness took precedent over the financial step back that we were definitely going to take. 

I knew that quitting my job was one of the craziest decisions I have ever made, but so far, it has definitely been worth it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments when I think that I am nuts for doing this – picture me covered in spit-up, chasing Grey as he crawls towards the dog’s water bowl that he has already dumped three times today, while carrying a load of dirty clothes to toss in the laundry. Trust me, it’s not a vacation. But I know that when I look back, I will never regret choosing to spend this amazing time with Greyson, enjoying every precious moment that I would have missed if I chose to stay at my job.