web analytics

Mommy Meltdown

Just a little disclaimer – Lots of ranting, lots of swearing. Apologies in advance.

I was so damn happy to leave the house today that I realized as I pulled into the gas station that I had forgotten my purse. Fuck. I turned around and headed back towards home. Sometimes, it seems like the universe just doesn’t want me to ever spend any time alone.

This morning, I think I was dangerously close to having a mommy meltdown. I’m not exactly sure what a mommy meltdown would entail, but I think it would involve a lot of crying and a lot of wine. I woke up feeling like I hadn’t slept and battling a killer migraine. Not a good combination when the baby is screaming at 5:15am. I usually consider myself a relatively put together and patient person, but today, I was more like an irritated mommy and a raging wife. It doesn’t happen often and I felt guilty for acting that way. . I thought to myself, what’s wrong with me today?

Well, let me tell you what’s wrong with me today.

I feel like I am in desperate need of a break. After thinking about it, I realized that I the last time I left the house alone was over two weeks ago. It was a Saturday – I went to go get my haircut. My hairdresser is about 1 mile down the road from my house and she works quickly. I begged her to take her time so that I could utilize every second out of the house as possible. She finished in about forty minutes. Not long enough. Maybe next time, I will color my hair just to guarantee two hours at the salon. I might even switch salons to add about 15 minutes of driving time in the car by myself.

Come to think of it, I did leave the house alone for a few minutes on Friday. My husband had his wisdom teeth pulled (Yup – More on that later). After I got Greyson down for his afternoon nap, I ran to the grocery store to fill my husband’s prescription. The pharmacy at the grocery store has a little lounge where you can sit and read a magazine or watch TV while you wait. After about 10 minutes, the pharmacist came over and asked me if I needed something. I explained that I was all set; I had already paid for the prescription. I just wanted to sit there watch the news for a few minutes before going home. What’s that honey, there were supposed to be 20 pills of Vicodin? I swear, they only gave me 18…

It doesn’t help that Greyson has been sick for about two weeks. The only two places I have been besides work this week is the pediatrician and the pharmacy. He started on a prescription last weekend that seems to be helping. However, ordering a drug for a 13 month old that can’t be taken within four hours of having anything with calcium in it is pretty absurd. Thanks, doc. You realize that probably 75% of my child’s daily calorie intake comes from milk, right? Why not just add another obstacle into my little mommy life? No biggie.

By Wednesday, he was sleeping through the night again and his cough was slowing down. But, low and behold – by Thursday, the little girl I nanny for had come down with the same thing. By the way, the only thing worse than taking care of your own sick child is taking care of someone else’s sick child.

And then, Friday rolled around. Teeth extraction day for my husband. I have to admit, I was pretty worried about how he was going to handle it. I’ve had teeth pulled in the past and it’s not walk in the fucking park. He actually thought he might be ale to go back to work afterwards. But as I expected, he was pretty laid up. I really want to be a doting wife – I want to be like my mother who I think actually enjoys having people to take care of. Unfortunately, I just can’t handle one more person to be responsible for right now. After about 48 hours, I think I almost said something like, “Go mix your own fucking salt water rinse. It’s your mouth, not your legs that are in pain, right?” I’ve come to realize that after having a child, I am even more unsympathetic than ever. Ladies, you should have a baby just so that you can use this phrase against your husband when he has a man cold or whatever other ailments he complains about – “It can’t be as bad as pregnancy and childbirth.”

You’d think with my husband traveling for work so often and without having any family here to help me, taking care of the baby by myself for a few days while he healed wouldn’t be a big deal. What I didn’t really take into account was that I would need to take care of him, too. Turns out I don’t make a great nurse. Sorry, honey.

Thank god, for everyone’s sake, I made it out of the house this afternoon for an hour or two alone to collect my thoughts. Sorry for subjecting you all to this venting, but bitching about it makes me feel so much better. So, thanks for reading, if you made it this far through my long, mommy rant. On my way home, I better stop and pick up a box of tissues and a couple of bottles of wine just in case I decide to have a mommy meltdown later today after all.

Thanks for listening to my venting! Vote for me – It’s so easy – Just click below!