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Punxsutawney Phil’s Predictions

I want to take a moment today to send off a bit of advice to our little friend, Punxsutawney Phil. Next year, stay in your damn hole.

I know most of you are busy prepping an onslaught of delicious appetizers for tonight’s Super Bowl parties, but I really thought someone should take a moment to put this Groundhog in his place.

Because my child woke up at 5:30am today, I was actually already half way into my day when Phil finally decided to make his appearance around 7:30am. Honestly, I didn’t even realize that it was Groundhog Day until very early this morning. I happened to be scrolling through the news on my cell phone to avoid poking my eyes out while my son watched the same obnoxious Bubble Guppies episode for the third time in a row when I learned that Phil had predicted another six weeks of winter.

The Famous Phil.

Six more weeks of winter?? I want a second opinion. Isn’t there another groundhog that we can drag out of his hole?

I have to say, considering the fact that we’ve been living in a Polar Vortex for the last two months, I think Phil had a pretty easy task of predicting the future weather patterns here. Still, I prefer not to celebrate a Groundhog rubbing the fact that I will have to endure negative wind chill temperatures for another six weeks in my face at 7:30am on a Sunday morning.

Reading the news of Phil’s prediction got me thinking. Why the hell does Groundhog Day exist in the first place? I made a serious attempt at researching the history behind this pointless holiday, but honestly, I got bored before I found the answer. I did, however, learn that there is a Groundhog Club in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. They even host an Annual Groundhog Club Banquet that took place last night. Did you know that your company can even become a corporate sponsor for the Groundhog celebration in Punxsutawney, PA?? Crazy.

These are the official members of The Groundhog Club. Sounds very prestigious.

These are the official members of The Groundhog Club. Sounds very prestigious.

Here’s my advice to Punxsutawney. If you want to hype up this holiday, maybe you should bribe Phil to predict the coming of spring rather than six more depressing weeks of winter. Or better yet – tell Phil to predict the damn winner of the Super Bowl so we can all place some money winning bets. Just sayin.