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Toddlers and Toilet Seats

The nice thing about having a toddler when it comes to running errands is that I don’t have to pack a ton of shit every time we leave the house, like bottles and formula and all that nonsense. However, the tough thing about running around with a toddler is that he is smart enough to realize that he can rebel against sitting in the cart. Therefore, my time spent in a store is usually about 15% actually shopping for what I need and 85% trying to contain the kid.

This morning was no exception. My husband and I (who are not handy at all, by the way) had the bright idea to install crown molding and a chair rail in our dining room. We decided to take a trip to the hardware store today to pick up all of the supplies.

If you’ve never shopped with a child before, than you probably have no idea what kind of logistical challenges are involved in entering any store. And as it turns out, the hardware store is not a very toddler-friendly, child-proofed kind of place.

For example, one of the first things my child spotted as we walked into Lowe’s was an enormous tower showcasing 5000 eco-friendly light bulbs. Clearly, they did not take into account that children may at some point enter this store because a tower built with light bulbs is probably the most amazing thing my toddler has ever seen. Even more unfortunately, a tower built with light bulbs is very fragile. Not to mention, probably very expensive if my toddler had decided to topple that light bulb tower.

We managed to dodge a light bulb disaster and found the aisle that displayed all of the different kinds of crown molding. It looked something like this. My husband would grab a piece of 12-foot molding from the shelf, swing it around the aisle, and ask for my opinion. In the meantime, I was trying to avoid getting hit by the molding that my husband was waving around while chasing my child up and down the aisle, trying to prevent him from throwing corner pieces and caulk all over the place. In short, it was shit show.

I realized that the only way to get this job done was to let my son run around the store while my husband chose whatever he thought would look best (YIKES!). Steering clear of the light bulb castle, I let him walk up and down any aisle he pleased and let him touch anything that didn’t seem too dangerous. We actually had a good time looking at a wall full of clocks and then checking out all different kinds of kitchen cabinets (which is the next project on my list, unbeknownst to my hubby).

By far, the highlight of our adventures was the toilet seat display. Who knew twenty toilet seats could keep a toddler occupied for so long?

toilet seats

And even though it was a stressful trip for me, my son had an awesome time “helping” Daddy push the cart. And carrying the caulk, too.

toilet seats 2

Now actually getting that crown molding and chair rail installed in the dining room?? I’m sure that will be an entirely different story of its own….. Stay tuned.